A cougar is an older woman, usually in her forties or older, who dates or pursues younger men. The word is slang, sometimes teasing and sometimes a label women choose for themselves. It is a different thing from booking a male escort, which is paid company with the terms agreed first.
What cougar means
The word describes a woman and an age gap: she is older, he is younger, and she is the one doing the pursuing. There is no official threshold, though ten years or more is the usual assumption. It became widespread in the 2000s through magazines and television, helped by the comedy Cougar Town in 2009.
Cougar, MILF, toyboy and sugar mummy
- Cougar. An older woman who pursues younger partners.
- MILF. An attractive mother. It is about how she is seen, not who pursues whom. What MILF means.
- Toyboy. The British word for a woman’s much younger male partner. It is usually teasing and sometimes disapproving.
- Sugar mummy. An older, wealthy woman who gives money or gifts to a younger man in return for company. Sugar dating explained.
- Silver fox. An older man seen as attractive. It is a compliment, and there is no sharper equivalent for men.
A gendered word
Older men who date younger women are rarely given a name, let alone a slightly predatory one, which is why many women dislike the word. Others use it with pride. As with most slang of this kind, how it lands depends on who says it.
Women and male escorts
Women, gay and bisexual men, and couples are the main clients of male escorts. Some older women who want company without dating apps or commitment book one. The law is the same as for female escorts: selling and buying sex between consenting adults is legal in England and Wales, and the offences around it apply to everyone. Male escorts and gigolos explains who books and how.
For other terms, see the dating and hookup slang A to Z.