A situationship is a romantic or sexual connection that has not been given a label. The two people are more than friends and less than a couple, and nobody has said what it is. The word has caught on because it describes something many people recognise and few have named. It is the opposite of an escort booking, where everything is agreed first.
What it means
Situationships sit in the gap between dating and nothing. They can be sexual, romantic or both, and they can last a few weeks or several years. What defines them is the absence of an agreement: neither person has said what they want, so each can imagine something different.
Signs you are in one
- You see each other regularly, but nobody makes plans beyond the next week or so.
- You have never talked about what you are, or the conversation is always steered away.
- Contact is inconsistent: intense for a while, then quiet.
- You do not meet each other’s friends or family, or only by accident.
- One of you wants more, and the other keeps things deliberately vague.
Situationship, FWB and dating
- Dating. Both people are working towards something, even if slowly.
- FWB. Both know it is friendship with sex and nothing more. What FWB means.
- Situationship. There is no agreement at all, which is the whole difficulty.
Is it a problem?
Not always. If both people want the same thing and are happy with it, it can work for a while. The trouble starts when one person wants a relationship and the other prefers to keep things loose, because the person who wants more has nothing to hold on to. The longer it goes on without a conversation, the harder that conversation gets.
How to end the uncertainty
Decide what you want before you ask, then ask directly. You may not like the answer, but a clear no is better than a long maybe. If the answer does not match what you want, step back, and say so instead of going quiet.
Clarity as the alternative
Some people who are tired of ambiguity prefer arrangements where the terms are plain from the start. A paid booking with an escort is the extreme case: the time, the fee and what is included are set before you meet, and nothing is expected once it ends. How booking works explains it. It is a different thing from a relationship, and not a substitute for one.
For other terms, see the dating and hookup slang A to Z.