An open relationship is a committed couple who have agreed that one or both of them may have sex with other people. The agreement is the whole of it. Without it the same behaviour is simply cheating.
How it differs from the neighbouring words
- Open relationship. One primary couple, sex with others allowed, romance usually not.
- Polyamory. More than one relationship, with feelings in them, and not necessarily a primary couple at all. Polyamory.
- Swinging. Usually a couple who play together, often at parties or clubs, as a shared activity. Swinging.
- Monogamish. Mostly closed, with narrow agreed exceptions.
People use these loosely and the labels overlap. What matters is the specific agreement, not which word gets used for it.
The rules couples actually set
- Who is allowed. Strangers only is common, and friends is often excluded for good reason.
- How much you tell each other. Everything, the headlines, or nothing at all. All three work, and mismatched expectations do not.
- What is kept for the two of you. Specific acts, staying over, your own bed.
- Protection and testing. Not negotiable. STI testing in London covers where to go.
- How to stop. Either person can close it again, and knowing that in advance makes it easier to try.
The part people underestimate
Opening a relationship does not fix one that is already in trouble, and it usually finishes it faster. The couples who report it working are the ones who were solid first and bored second. The ones who report it failing were trying to solve something with it.
Where escorts fit
Some open couples book together rather than finding partners separately, because the terms are clear, nobody develops feelings and there is no social fallout. It is arranged with both partners in the conversation. Duo and couples bookings covers it, and hotwifing covers the one sided version.