Fetish, domination and submissive are three labels that sound alike and mean different things. All three describe a booking built around an agreed role and a set of limits, not a standard hour, and all three depend on conversation before anything happens.
Three labels, three roles
- Fetish. A particular interest the booking is built around, such as clothing, role play or a specific scenario. It tells you the theme, not who leads.
- Domination. The escort leads and sets the rules within what was agreed beforehand.
- Submissive. The escort follows, and the client leads within the limits the escort has set.
How a booking differs
Expect more talking before and after than for a standard booking. Limits, a safe word and what is and is not on offer are settled in advance, and the time after the session, often called aftercare, is part of the booking. What is BDSM? explains the terms and how consent works.
Professional dominant or escort who offers it
A professional dominant works mainly in this field and often from a purpose built studio. An escort who lists domination or submission as one of several services is working from her ordinary setting and usually offers a lighter version. Neither is better. They are different, and the advert should tell you which. What is a dominatrix? covers the first.
Limits and the law
The law in England and Wales is clearest about harm. Consent is not a defence to serious injury, so a responsible escort or dominant keeps within it, and you should too. Whether the arrangement is lawful otherwise follows the same rules as any escort booking: see Is escorting legal in the UK?
What to ask before you book
- What is on offer and what is not, in their words
- Their limits, and how they handle a safe word
- Who provides any equipment, and where the booking takes place
- The length, the price and when you pay
- Anything health related either of you should know